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I had a good friend tell me once - walls and obstacles are not put there to keep you out or to keep you from getting what you want out of life - it's to see how badly you really want it.
I mean, if you give up - you couldn't have wanted it that badly... could you?
At the end of the movie "Blow" with Johnny Depp his character says something so deeply profound that it has always stayed with me. At the end of the movie Depp finds himself alone reminiscing on his life... He says, "Knowing that my ambition far
exceeded my talent." In fact, the whole monologue at the end makes the movie worth seeing again and again.
Did you know that most successful people were broke at one time or another?
Do you know that each and every one of them has had moments where they thought life was stacked against them? Where they have had their hearts broken, they have had a loved one die on them, had a business fail. Successful people have had their share of tragedy just like you and I, but they still prevail.
Read their stories, read their autobiographies... they are not so different than you and I. Many are not that much smarter than you and I. But they all share one thing...
Ambition.
It's your ambition that carries you through, it's your passion. One day you just wake up full of energy - and a feeling that you can take on the world. You tell yourself, today is the day, "this time I'm going to do it!"
And then the moment of truth hits, hits you like a Mack truck...
Fear
Fear can paralyze you and literally kill your dreams.
Fear causes you to procrastinate. It's something I dedicate a large part of the beginning of my book too "The Secrets to Sales Mastery". I know only too well how Fear can mess with your mind and your emotions. So much so that time just passes by, Until one day you wake up, and its 6 months later and you realize your life is the same. The dreams you had are just that, Still dreams...
So where do you find courage when every bone in your body, every muscle fiber, every thought is resonating with this anxiousness that just fills you up, castrates you and refuses to let go?
First of all, you need goals.
You need to know exactly where you are going. Grab a pad and pen and start writing a "to do list" (be specific as possible) Write down everything that you want to accomplish - EVERYTHING!
Then sort them as short term, mid term and long term.
Once your "to do list" is done then you need to take a 2nd pad and write your "how to list".
So for instance if $5000.00 per month is on your to do list. Take this and write it on your 2nd pad of paper all by itself and write down all the things you need to do to make $5,000.00 per month.
To do - Make $5000.00 per month:
The : How I will make $5,000.00 per month.
Make more cold calls
Sell more - get more appointments
Do flyer campaign
Enlist the help of referrals
Now why I am writing all of this down? Well the real ugliness about Fear is that your mind tricks itself and puts you in a "future state" - your body experiences your future as you imagine it unfolding - thereby reinforcing what you Fear. By taking a to do list and a how to list - you bring yourself back to the present, and you will find that your body will
recenter itself.
I've read a ton of books on how to overcome fear, how to build self confidence and self esteem and in my opinion it all comes down to "Action".
Action propels you forward, up and over or around your obstacles.
Here's the trick - Even when you fail and you fall down you are still moving forward. Remember when you fell down and scraped your knee trying to learn how to ride your first bike? You still got up, vowing to try harder - vowing to learn.
Action can only come from knowing "the how".
Knowing "the how", empowers people to overcome their fears.
That's why "to do lists" for reaching goals are largely ineffective by themselves. It's great if you have a goal, but if you don't know how to get there - what's the point? You are still stuck with your fear of not knowing "how".
So how can you learn "the how"?
There's only 2 ways that I am aware of :
1) Get a coach or mentor - and emulate someone who has done it or is doing it.
2) Buy or research "the how".
Now I want you to take a deep breath, because what I am about to say is going to make you very mad at me.
If you know "the how" and you are still stuck, you don't want it badly enough.
I want you to read that again...
If you know the how and you are still "stuck" in your "fear", you don't want it badly enough.
Really think about what I just said, everything; about Ambition, about successful people being the same as you and I (and for the most part they are), the willingness to prevail, making out a "to do" and a "how to" list.
Wanting something so badly (ambition) is what conquers Fear.
Let's back up a bit, I want to share a story with you.
When I first became a realtor 5 years ago I put EVERYTHING on the line. When I graduated I had no money, in fact I had to borrow $2,000 from a friend to pay that last little bit of money to get my real estate license. So here I was, I just got my license, I owed a friend $2,000 and I had no money. In fact I didn't even have rent money for that month.
And I'll admit it, I was full of fear. I felt all alone and I was deeply afraid that I would fail.
I could have gone and got another sales job, at a mall selling cel phones. I could have gone to a Best Buy or some other retailer and got a job as a salesman. It's what I do, it's what I am good at.
But I didn't.
I went out and door knocked every single day for 6 to 8 hours. I was SCARED SILLY. Every time I knocked on a door I waited partly in anticipation and partly in apprehension wondering who would answer, would they like me? would they slam the door on me? would they tell me to buzz off?
The truth is some people did tell me to buzz off, but much to my surprise most didn't, in fact I would say about 90% of the people who met me at the door were quite civil and some were downrigt friendly.
And I was still apprehensive about knocking on doors! That's how powerful your mind is, your ego (that try’s to protect you from your dragons) - your Fear. Your mind (ego) wants to protect you from your NEGATIVE thoughts, it wants to keep you in your comfort zone.
YOU MUST ACT.
Even when everything in your body, your mind, and your very core says not to.
That is the difference between you and successful people.
2 weeks after I started knocking on doors a lady answered the door. I introduced myself and she said, "Oh we are thinking about selling in the next couple of weeks. Why don't you talk to my husband?" I rang him that night, got an appointment the next night and sold the house the next day.
And yes, my rent got paid that month!
A week after that I got another listing and the rest is history!
So what are the steps to finding your courage and becoming everything that you aspire to be?
1) Your mind set - "The Willingness to Prevail"
2) Ambition
3) Having a "to do list" (paying the rent that month)
4) Knowing "the how" (cold calling, smiling, handing out flyers with a compelling offer, etc..)
Made the difference between success and failure.
Now guess where I got my confidence to do it again the next month and the next month (and for the next 3 years) after that?
From success comes confidence.
But here's the kicker...
You can't succeed if you don't act.
Category: Self HelpHow to overcome fear, and get what you really want out of life! was written by:Author:Kevin BoyleAdded: Tue, 16 Sep 2008 22:34:46 -0400 This Article Has Been Read 75 times View all Kevin Boyle's articlesAbout the Author: Kevin Boyle is an expert sales coach/trainer and the author of "The Secrets to Sales Mastery" If you would like to learn more innovative new skill sets and strategies to help you build an incredibly successful business and dramatically improve your sales results, visit my web site and subscribe to my FREE 8 part email home study e-course on relationship sales and marketing. |
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